Shorts and Size

All of the shorts I had that fit me ripped out last fall. This happened because they were old and I only had two pairs to cycle through so they got a lot of use over the four or so years I’d had them. As such, I was left without shorts that fit me. I have gained some weight since I last bought shorts. And I found the shorts I had left to be too small. My fiance lost his job about two months ago now so I couldn’t go out to buy ones (yes, even thrift shorts are not affordable right now). What I did have, however, was a sewing machine and some fabric.

So what I did was cut the outer seam on both sides loose and put some fabric inserts in them. I’d had the fabric for about four years. The shorts are about three years old, give or take. It looks just fine but I do have mixed feelings about the whole process. It brings the uglies out of my head, with lies of “how fat are you that you have to let out shorts?” I know that perhaps I could lose some weight and still be healthy BMI-wise but the BMI is horse-wash anyway.

I posted a picture of the shorts to a fourm I belong to about craft things. I mentioned that I had to let them out and find a way to do so creatively due to gaining weight from eating disorder recovery. And I’m getting a lot of “congratulations on your recovery” comments. It’s nice to have support but I am in recovery. I don’t think I’ll ever be fully recovered in the sense that I’m no longer at risk for a relapse or that the negative body-thoughts will ever go away.

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4 thoughts on “Shorts and Size

  1. I truly believe that there is no such thing as having “recovered” from an eating disorder, or alcoholism or anything similar. As a recovering atypical anorexic I will never think of myself as “recovered”. There is always that chance that I will fall back down into that black hole.

    You *are* doing extremely well though 🙂

    • I agree. I always say I’m in recovery, not recovered, for that reason. Every day is a struggle to stay in recovery and if you are truly recovered from something then it’s not a daily struggle.

      You’ll get there, too. I’m so VERY proud of you for finding the strength to seek out help.

      • I couldn’t have done it without D’s support. He’s encouraged me to hide nothing from him and our relationship is based strongly on trust and honesty, as much as it’s about love. He’s the first person I was ever able to tell and now that I’ve admitted it to him as well as myself I can take it further.

      • I’m so glad that you and D have each other. You’re such a great fit for each other, from what you’ve said.

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