This post contains discussion of homelessness and eating disorders.
The last week has been super rough. We lost our housing and my fiance lost his job within 12 hours of each other. It’s all been really scary and difficult. The first night, before we found out he’d lost his job, we slept in B’s little Saturn coupe with our birds. We couldn’t even partially lay down due to how small the car is inside and the birdcage. The second night and for most of the others, we’ve slept in a tent we acquired from a local homeless and at-risk group. We’ve set up in my friend’s back yard and they’re letting us use their kitchen, bathroom, and wifi.
Sleeping in a tent is weird. I’ve never camped before because I just didn’t understand the appeal. Apparently a lot of people like it but I have trouble sleeping with the knowledge that it’s just a couple layers of fabric between me and the outside. I get a bit paranoid about what could be lurking out there and every little noise sets me off and wakes me up. I have to be super exhausted to fall asleep.
But, we’re safe and with people who genuinely care about us. So that is something of true value.
Food has been difficult. The stress has my eating disorder running away with me and every meal is a calculated effort to eat. Eating makes me feel sick to my stomach ’cause my ED doesn’t want me to eat so I have to chew very slowly and not be left alone while I’m eating now. I’m very concerned about food, like, how we’ll get food and other things.
I don’t know. I don’t want to talk more about this. I just thought I should update.